Why Aren’t You Drinking? 10 Confident Responses to This Common Question

Now I have time for the good stuff like peace, ease, creativity, laughter and love. Let’s simplify together, not so we can have a simple life, but so we can have the life we really want. Whenever I make a big change, I surround myself with like-hearted people (in real life and online) and this change was no different. Asking questions is a simple way to break the ice if you don’t know many of the other guests at the event. For example, you could ask how someone knows the party host or what they think of the song that is playing. Compliments also work well, such as saying you love someone’s shirt and asking where they purchased it.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

From college parties to weddings and simple get-togethers with friends, there’s often alcohol involved. For many folks, meeting up at a bar or club is an easy option. But in her experience, “most people are open to doing something that doesn’t revolve around alcohol. They just don’t want to organize it because it takes effort.” Some people are fine with telling others that they never drink. Unfortunately, this statement often leads to an intrusive conversation and questioning by a person with less-than-perfect manners.

How to deal with peer pressure to drink

For Peggy, figuring out how to stop drinking when everyone in your family drinks meant confronting generations of normalized alcohol use. Her turning point came unexpectedly through a Facebook ad for This Naked Mind’s 5-day masterclass, sparking a journey that would transform her relationship with alcohol forever. Ultimately, however, communicating directly and planning ahead will help avoid problems later. The recovering person has a responsibility to take care of themselves, but family and friends can definitely help. So with the three-fold trilogy of the holiday season upon us, as many reach for a drink, let’s also remember to reach out to each other, especially those in recovery.

• There’s an easier, familiar solution to your discomfort.
• One individual shared their journey of quitting alcohol, describing how social events became battlegrounds for their sobriety.
• You might say, “I find I’m much sharper in meetings when I haven’t had anything to drink the night before. It’s really helping my performance at work.”
• Practice assertiveness skills, such as politely declining offers of alcohol or suggesting alternative activities.

Choose a Place That’s Entertaining

It can be difficult for those drinking to understand why someone else doesn’t want to join in with their drinking. Yet, there is never a good reason for any person to force another person to have a drink they don’t want. It’s not right to make another person feel they’re not fitting in because of this preference. For those of you who are not interested in drinking at parties, this article will help you to both keep your resolve and find ways to keep others off your case. Practice your responses, arrive early to events, and find your role.

Keep learning

If someone persists, you can add, “I appreciate your offer, but I’m comfortable with my choice.” This reinforces your decision while keeping the interaction positive. “I have an important meeting tomorrow.” This response ties your choice not to drink to your professional goals, which many people respect. Remember, you’re not obligated to disclose personal medical information. If pressed, you can politely say, “It’s a personal health choice I’m making right now.” Jeanette Hu, AMFT, is a decade-long daily drinker turned psychotherapist and the creator of the Empowered Alcohol-Free 4-Pillar System. She helps high-achieving individuals break old drinking patterns and create a fulfilling and empowered alcohol-free life.

• You don’t have to go to that party, said David Dorschu, then-CEO of Recovery Centers of America at Raritan Bay in South Amboy, N.J., said in a 2021 interview with NPR’s Brian Mann.
• Spend quality sober time with companions engaging in pursuits like hiking, skiing or playing different games.
• The question is — how do you quit alcohol if all your friends want to do is drink?
• For over 50 years, our compassionate team of professionals has helped individuals overcome addiction with evidence-based, personalized, and life-saving addiction treatment.
• But there are plenty of ways to decline a drink, allowing you to stick to your personal preferences while still enjoying the event.
• They just don’t make as much noise about it, and aren’t as represented in the media.

If they notice you’re not drinking, they might ask you why. Even if they’re a friend who’s aware that you don’t drink, alcohol has a knack for lowering people’s inhibitions, so they might still ask or pry for more details. A considerate hostess will even omit a dessert with alcohol such as rum cake. What I’ve learned about how to stop drinking when everyone in your family drinks is that you have to make the decision for yourself. I tried moderation at first – having just one glass of wine with dinner. But then I’d rush home because there was more wine waiting for me there.

Establishing clear intentions for sobriety before social events is important. Visualizing success and preparing mentally can strengthen your resolve to stay sober. Seek support and connect with like-minded individuals who share your interest in alcohol-free socializing. Look for local groups or online communities that promote sober social activities or host alcohol-free being sober around drinkers events. Surrounding yourself with a supportive community can provide encouragement, inspiration, and a sense of belonging. Choose to spend time with friends and acquaintances who support your decision to socialize without alcohol.

On the link below you’ll find a training series focused on how to feel at ease socially, even if you tend to overthink today. This strategy tends to work best for one-off encounters with people you don’t know that well. If you’re with a group of old friends, and they all know you don’t drink, you can’t exactly lie to them. It’s considered a normal, acceptable thing to do with friends. It’s to the point that if someone isn’t drinking they often catch a bunch of flak for it.

You don’t need to say anything else – just laugh like it’s no big deal and change the topic to something more interesting. If you’re with a group, you could offer to order the drinks from the bar. This might be inconvenient but it saves you from announcing to everyone that you’re having club soda and not vodka.

Tell somebody you trust that you don’t want to drink

Another concern that can cause denial and blame among alcoholics is their fear of losing children or pets. They may be worried that if they admit to having a problem, authorities will Sober living home step in and remove children or pets. They may also be afraid that if they go away to seek treatment, they will have to give up rights to children or pets because they won’t be able to care for them. When you decide to quit drinking, you might find these underlying conditions get worse before they get better. But let’s say you’ve gotten past those initial milestones and aren’t wrestling with monster cravings multiple times per day. It’s time to think about maintaining sobriety long-term.

It’s all about what alcohol does to your brain and body. In that spirit, I’ll share with you a few resources to get started. It’s a bit cliche to say, but knowledge really is power. Before I took my sobriety seriously, I just knew that I drank more than most people and really struggled to moderate or cut back. This is another great thought exercise to work through in a journal.